Friday, May 19, 2006

Oh, to starve again

When are people hungry?
... when they're starving

When do people seek company?
... when they are lonely

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Why am I not reading the Bible as much these days since I'm in Bible School?
Why am I not praying as fervently as when I was in the mission field, on the army camp?

The answer is poverty. Starvation. Loneliness.

These things drive a man to his knees in prayer, they keep him up late reading his Bible when he is sleep deprived, they make him sensitive to the tiniest hint of sin in his heart, so that he can be quick to confess and repent.

Being here in Bible school, there is a feast before me, and I am being force fed. What a way to get rid of your appetite. Around me is Christianity in all its various forms. The intrigue for God as the undiscovered country has vanished from the horizon. I think I know it all. I think I've arrived. This is when I need to stop and realize: Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are the starved, the lonely. As long as we feel satisfied we will be complacent. If you do not feel need, you will not long, you will not pursue and lay hold of.

I need to be swept away by uncontrollable waters. I need to feel hunger again, sorrow again, loneliness again. Only after everything was taken away did Job first pray and worship.

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